Forever
by moondustbeam
Summary: Sequel to "Scars". Shows how the lives of Kiku and Alfred played out afterwards, all of the grief and trials they face in eventually becoming old together. Shown in little timeskips. COMPLETE.


**Guess who is pulling one of those "My new things are failing so I'm doing a shitty sequel to my one hit wonder" moves? Me. It was probably killing a lot of people as well, not knowing what happened to Al and Kiku after that chapter. I left it up to the reader. Fear not, my children, because you no longer have to come up with an idea on your own. Trigger warning for sad stuff and yes, death. Plus suicide. After all, it's their whole lives. P.S. If you haven't read Scars, go read it now and then come back to me on this.**

"They think it was a suicide."

I stared down at my coffee, listening to Matthew's words. I really wasn't sure of what to tell him, and I don't think he really needed to hear anything. He was already so empty, so gone. The death of his father didn't help him very much.

"But...didn't he die in a car accident?" Alfred asked. He gripped my hand tightly, still on edge. After all, Francis was like a father to all of us. After Arthur died some three years after our marriage, Francis was even more of a dad to Matthew and Al than ever before. He was all they had left. But with his kids moving out and growing up, being totally alone in his huge house, I could definitely see what drove him to be suicidal.

"It was a car accident," Matthew responded. He was staring out the window as it rained steadily, not looking us in the eye. "But he ran his car off the road on purpose. I don't think he wanted to live anymore. He never called any of us. Guess it must run in the family, huh?"

I grimaced. Matthew was still bringing up his suicide from when he was a teenager. Granted, we were all in our forties, but that still sent chills down my spine. Finding him in that bathtub...it was hard to look at Matthew, my best friend, and not have flashbacks to that day. It's hard to believe that dead boy I stumbled in on was now talking to me, totally fine and being my friend. He wasn't covered in his own blood. He was sipping his coffee, running a hand through his shoulder-length hair that he'd never bothered to cut differently. Sometimes he would tie it up into a little ponytail like Francis did, but that was about it.

Francis… I hung my head. He was like a father to me, and thinking about everything he'd done for me over the years was insane. He'd welcomed me into their family like no other, always supporting me and sheltering me, giving me advice when nobody else would. He loved Arthur with all of his heart, no matter how much the two bickered. Arthur passing away due to heart failure about fifteen years or so ago...drove him into a depressed state. He was never the same whenever I spoke to him. The light was gone from his eyes, no matter how much he tried to hide it. He sounded like any other widower, looking back on fond memories and talking about his significant other like it wasn't a big deal. But he was better at hiding things than his son. Nobody knew he was so broken.

"I'm going to investigate it a little more...but I know my dad. I know him better than anyone else. I could tell that he wasn't doing well, and I should have visited him more often. But…"

Matthew looked at both of us. It was only for a second, but I could have sworn I saw Francis in his face.

"What happened...it happened. There's nothing more that can be done. We've got to give him the best funeral we can and move on," Matthew stated, his eyes glassy.

I looked over at Alfred, who was starting to cry. And in that moment, I wondered who was going to bury whom.

X

I read the note over and over. She couldn't have left us. And all for some...some boy? Some boy of Korean descent, one that I didn't even approve of. My own daughter and got up and left us, leaving behind only a note.

I promise that this is what I want in life. I know I'm only seventeen, but I can't have you holding me back. I love him so much. I really, really do. Please try to understand. I'll be safe. I know you're going to look for me, but you won't find me. Just know that I'm alive and I love both of you.

-Mei

I crumpled the note in my hand, trying my hardest not to scream in pain. My daughter, my little girl...I couldn't believe she'd left us. I'd heard the car engine coming from outside, but it was too late. Mei had left her fathers, and she was never coming back.

"Kiku?" I heard a sleepy voice coming from the bedroom. "Is that you? Are you in here?"

I smoothed out the note, my hands shaking. I had to tell Alfred. And we had to go and look for our little girl.

X

"Why do you think everyone leaves us?" I said, standing over the casket. The rest of the funeral procession had cleared out, Matthew thanking them as they left. I really didn't have it in me to be chipper. My own daughter didn't even come to her grandfather's funeral.

"Kiku...everyone dies. My dads died, too," Alfred remarked, wrapping his arms around me. "Death happens to everyone. And the older you get, the more deaths you see. That's why we were happier as kids. But we still have each other, right?"

I thought about my father. How he was never really there for me, but always tried his hardest. All of his stupid driving, his stupid seats on his stupid car, how he had no regard for everyone in public, how he bought me first dog back when I was a teenager…

"I miss him," I said, feeling drops land on my palm. I knew it wasn't from the rain. The tiny droplets of water were too hot to be the cool rain that beat against the umbrella. I reached up and felt my face, tracing the lines the tears were leaving. I also felt...something I had never felt before. I was used to feeling smooth and even skin, completely flawless and free of any crevices or lines. But now...I could just feel how tired my face was getting. I was getting older, but Alfred wasn't. I looked up at my husband, at his face. The face that was still free of any wrinkles or faults, the only flaw on his skin being the scars he'd had for so long. The only thing that showed his age was his completely silver hair.

"I never even showed him how much I loved him. Dad, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

X

A walker.

A stupid walker.

Walkers were for old people, right? So why did I have one? I still didn't understand why. Sure, I threw out my back, but I was still young. Young enough to not use a walker. Every tiny step I took hurt, every joint in my body aching miserably as I moved. Alfred tried to hard to make me comfortable, but his body wasn't aging as fast as mine. Sure, he had back pains sometimes, but it was nothing compared to me. I couldn't keep up with him anymore, him being so young compared to me. I was an old man, and Alfred was not.

I stared down at my hands. Ridiculous. Whose hands were those? I turned them over, not believing what I saw. I didn't have hands this old-looking, right? These were the wrinkled hands of an old man. No, my hands looked better than this on my wedding day. They were smooth, even. Not these.

I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I don't know why I was even trying. After I had gained a walker, my sex life had failed completely. Alfred and I no longer had a sex life. I could tell that he still wanted something, but he knew my limits. He held everything off just for me. And I wasn't about to let a man as handsome as he was be disappointed.

I took in a deep breath, trying so hard not to look at what I had become. Just try your hardest to look sexy, Kiku. It's not embarrassing. A lot of people do it! Alfred said he secretly liked it...and all I wanted to do was make him happy. With my looks, there was no way I wasn't disappointing him.

I tugged at the ribbons around the waist. I really didn't know if Alfred liked girly lingerie or not...so I selected the kind that had pinks and purples. That's the kind that most people suggested on the site. It was really hard to get on with a walker, but I managed. The fishnets just made me feel even more red in the face. This was stupid and a bad idea. I wasn't cute. Maybe when we were younger, Alfred would have been turned on. But not now. Even after I tried every sort of cream and kit they had in the stores, I was still...ugly. I wasn't appealing. But maybe with a little bit of lingerie, I could hear Alfred say he loved me again. Even if he was lying.

I pushed upon the door slowly, moving my walker as quietly as possible. Alfred was propped up against the pillows and reading, then took notice of me standing near the door.

"Hey, honey," he said softly. "Are you ready to come to bed?"

I could feel myself getting anxious. I was about to cry. Lingerie was a stupid idea. He'd probably laugh and ask what the hell I had on.

"Y-yeah…" I sputtered, moving back into the darkness of the hallway.

"Kiku?" Alfred sounded concerned. "Is something wrong?"

I opened up the door very slowly, trying to preserve what little bit of dignity I had. There I stood in a complete lingerie outfit. I opted for the shirt that wasn't transparent because...well, my body didn't have anything worth showing off anymore. Alfred, on the other hand, still had a little bit of muscle.

"Oh...oh, Kiku…" Alfred said sadly, as if he pitied me.

"I-I'm really s-sorry...I-I don't know...I thought…"

I couldn't find my words as I choked back tears. I was so incredibly embarrassed. Did I really think I would look good? It was a joke. An old man with a walker in lingerie, thinking for one second that he might be able to look desirable again. I was doing nothing but making Alfred think lower of me.

"Kiku…" Alfred pushed himself out of bed, setting down his book and walking over to me. I trembled at the thought of what he might say to me.

He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked me dead in the eyes. "Why did you do this?" he asked as he cocked his head.

I couldn't think of anything to say, except letting out the word "ugly" over and over as I hiccuped. God, I was being pitied. Alfred had a pathetic excuse for a husband that he needed to baby whenever he did something stupid.

"I love it," said Alfred as he wrapped me in a hug, burying his head in my neck. "It's wonderful. You look incredibly handsome."

"Huh?" I blinked back tears.

"Remember when you had to assure me that you loved me despite my scars?" he said, taking my old hands in his own. "Well, I love you no matter old you may look. I still see you as Kiku, the young guy I met when we were kids. You're still beautiful, Kiku. Don't ever think otherwise."

"I-I don't understand."

"You don't have to, honey. Let's go to bed, okay? I wanna see your handsome face up close, alright?"

I smiled as I pushed my walker, taking my time to get to the bed. Alfred loved me. He always loved me. Even though I was old and wrinkled, he loved me.

"I made a new space projector. This one looks even more real. I hope you like it."

And I loved him.

X

I woke up in a sweat. My wedding day...it was my wedding day! My wedding day, and I had absolutely nothing to wear. I couldn't remember where I put my tuxedo. I frantically searched through the closet, throwing clothes about the room. A light turned on behind me as I heard a sleepy voice.

"What are you doing?" it asked.

I turned around. A man with silvery scars running all over his body was staring at me. He was a very old man, and his voice sounded like it was croaking.

"Who are you?" I asked, frightened. I didn't recognize the room that I was in.

"Alfred," he replied.

"Alfred...I'm getting married to Alfred today," I told him.

"Oh, really?" He sounded sad, almost like he was about to cry.

"Yes...but I can't find my tuxedo…"

"Kiku," he asked slowly. "Do you know how old you are?"

I thought about it for a minute. "No," I replied.

"You're ninety-two."

"N-no," I stammered. How dare this stranger just tell me how old I was! I wasn't that old. Why would he make that up? "I'm in my twenties...I think…"

"Come over here and come back to bed," Alfred told me.

I did as I was told, using my special stairs to climb into bed. With how much my joints were creaking, maybe I was as old as Alfred said.

"Goodnight, Kiku," he said.

He sounded like he was crying, but I didn't say anything. I didn't really know him well enough.

X

_Is this my dad? Oh, God...Daddy, I'm so sorry we couldn't be here sooner. I love you, okay? Please know that before you pass on, please! Oh no...Daddy...Daddy…_

Mei...you sound so old. You sound like you're in your midlife crisis era...

_Kiku? I don't think he can hear me...can he hear me?_

I can hear you.

_It's me, Matthew. Do you know who I am?_

Yes.

_Kiku...I...I can't lose you. I've lost everyone. All of our friends are gone now. Everyone has died. But when you're one-hundred and three, I suppose almost everyone you know will be gone...do you know how great that is that you lived that long, Kiku? One-hundred and three years old. That's how far you made it, buddy. I...I love you so much. It breaks me to see you like this. Oh, God, the only person I'm going to have left is Alfred…_

Matthew, please don't cry.

_Alfred will be coming tomorrow, and...and...wait, is he…? He's waking up!_

I moaned as I opened my eyes just a crack. All I saw around me were blurry figures...an elderly man standing near me...doctors in coats…

"Yes, sir. He slips in and out of a coma. Sometimes he can talk, but I don't think today will be one of those days," I heard a doctor say.

"Oh, alright…" Matt said with a sigh.

I felt my eyes close again, even though I didn't ask them to. It felt like I was asleep for days, but I knew it was only a few hours until I opened my eyes again.

"Kiku," a nurse told me. "Your husband told me that he's going to see you tomorrow morning, as soon as we open for visiting hours. He said it's your eightieth anniversary, correct?"

"Y...es…" I managed to say.

"Oh, good. That's nice of him, isn't it? Do you know his name?"

"A...Al...Alfred…"

"Yes, Alfred."

I sat for a moment, thinking about Alfred and how sad he was going to be once he was left behind. I had days where I couldn't remember anything, then days where I remembered every single thing he said, right down to little moments we'd had. I thought about, for some reason, when he and I helped Matthew into the car, right after my dad had bought Pochi for me. Pochi was my first dog...yes, I remembered that. I remembered taking Mei to school on her first day and how she clung to my leg. Alfred made her a PB&J that day... I worked with Feliciano and Ludwig in the library...Alfred had the big astrology book that he still kept. Gilbert...Gilbert always wanted Elizabeta. He finally got her after she and Roderich split up. Roderich...he was my school counselor...and school was where I met Antonio and Lovino. Where I met Alfred and Matthew. And what led me to have a good life with them and their family. Yes...I had a good, long life.

"H-hey…" I said. "W-write something down for….for...me…"

X

"Okay," the nurse said softly as she took my hand. "Are you sure this is what you want, Mr. Honda?"

I could barely answer her. I couldn't even open my eyes. All I could feel was the sun coming through the window, indicating that it was sunrise. The light felt warm on my skin, as if it was finally taking all the cold and dead away from me...and taking me to see my dad. To see Francis and Arthur. Feliciano, Ludwig, Gilbert, Elizabeta, Roderich, Antonio, Lovino, Pochi...I'm coming up there to join you. Please make room for me.

"I'm going to read it to you, okay?" the nurse, said, her voice fading out. But I didn't even hear her. I knew what I had said. I couldn't pay attention to her voice as all my senses melted away, falling asleep and knowing I'd never wake up. All I focused on were the words I said to Alfred, the note I left on the bouquet of flowers for him. It's all I could give him once I was gone.

_Happy 80th anniversary, you dork. I love you._

**Wow. That was hard for me to write. In case you want to know what happened after that (since Kiku died first and it's from his POV), Alfred came into the hospital, all chipper and telling everyone in the hall that he was on his way to see his husband with some flowers and a teddy bear. When he gets in there, he sees the sheet going over Kiku and asks them to stop, since Kiku has breathing problems. It takes him a while to let it sink in, like accidentally making two meals for dinner instead of one, or saying "Goodnight, Kiku" to nobody. Eventually, I would imagine he died of a fall where he couldn't get up and had nobody to help him. Matt is, ironically, the last one of the main characters (including Mei) to be alive. Yao, Kiku, Alfred, Alfred's mom, Arthur, and Francis are all buried together, in that order, like a line. I'd imagine that when Matt dies, they'd bury him next to Francis.**

**Please don't tell me about how I should have left it where I did. I've been wanting to write this part since the original Scars. It means a lot to me...and I'm sorry if it disappointed you. But it's how I think their lives played out, and I really wanted to show everyone.**


End file.
